My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
the raccoons are back...
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
