I just made out with a guy for $7.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
