i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
