david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Randomize