Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Your penis caused this!
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
