bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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