no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Randomize
