wat bout pragnant strippers??
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Randomize
