im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize