Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Randomize