I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
He did a backflip because drugs
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
