And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
