Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
foreskin is a definite game changer
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Randomize
