Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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