How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
