How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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