i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
