He disabled his match.com account in front of me
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
