don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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