i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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