He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
