with your own penis?
vagina is talking i cant
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
