He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
