If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
