I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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