youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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