If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
