North Korea, Best Korea!
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
COCAINE IS GR8
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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