Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
