small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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