All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
should my penis look like a turkey
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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