I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize