i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
