I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
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