my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
