i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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