Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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