Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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