Taylor Swift is so right about you.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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