then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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