That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Randomize
