Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Randomize
