I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
