There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
