If i could tip my vagina, i would.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
