Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
