So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
