there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Randomize
