Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
