people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
