My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
