just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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