Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
