I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Randomize
