I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
