he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
