i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Randomize
