We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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