I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
soo... how was my night?
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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