So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I don't think brook has ever known best
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Randomize
