You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
