Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
