I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
