it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
my poor anus
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize