I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
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