I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize