So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
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