Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Randomize
