that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
