He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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