ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
