the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
