so let's talk penis.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
