I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Are my feet made of real feet?
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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