Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
