Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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