You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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