I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Randomize
