id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Randomize
