just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize